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But, it may turn up again … or, a new contradiction may merge.
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We can resolve some contradictions but others may arise: Sometimes a contradiction may be remedied, even for just a short period of time.We might say that relationships “go through a process of change”. ‘Process’ refers to the fact that relationships are things that change. An external contradiction: My friend and I want to go to the movies (we are on the one team) but we don’t have enough money (an external factor) is preventing us from going.An external contradiction: My wife and I want to go on a vacation but my work won’t let me take time off (this tension is between me and my wife (on one team) and something outside our relationship: my work).We always argue about what to cook for dinner. An internal contradiction: I want to eat meat, but my wife is a vegetarian.Somehow, these contradictory desires need to be met (this tension is between me and my boss) An internal contradiction: With my boss, I want support and guidance but also independence and autonomy.Here are some examples of internal versus external contradictions: So, when trying to identify problems or challenges in a relationship, we’ll need to think about all of the internal and external contradictions that may be causing challenges. External contradictions: When the needs, wants and desires of the people within the relationship contradict with the needs, wants and desires of people outside of the relationship.Internal contradictions: When two people in the relationship have contradictory needs, wants and desires.To understand just how many contradictions there can be in relationships, scholars have split them into two categories: Internal and External contradictions It means that all the contradictions we might experience in a relationship can impact each other. That word ‘interrelated’ is important in the above quote.
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The theory aims to look at how to overcome and work with contradictions and tensions in relationships 2. With my parents, I want them to be available to me whenever I need them, but I also don’t want them to constantly be in my lifeĪccording to relational dialectics theory, contradictions within a relationship (also called tensions) are natural in any relationship.The two concepts contradict one another, but I want both these things from the relationship, at different times With my wife, I might want both intimacy and space.Within a relationship, we often come across two wants, needs, or desires that are contradictory. These key features help us to understand what the theory is all about: 1. Read also: The Shannon-Weaver Model of Communicationīecause relational dialectics theory can be hard to understand, scholars have broken it down into 4 key features. Read also: The Lasswell Model of Communication.Read also: The Osgood-Schramm Model of Communication.I know that’s a lot to take in all at once – that’s why scholars have broken the theory down into 4 principles (contradiction, change, totality and practice), which I discuss below. Relational dialectics is a theory that is used by relationship counselors, researchers, and mentors to explore ways to create productive, positive, and happy relationships. Relational Dialectics Theory (RDT) is a communication theory that believes that relationships between people are always changing, that tensions in our relationships are normal, and that good clear communication is necessary to sustain positive productive interpersonal relationships. References Definition of Relational Dialectics